How To Raise A Child


How to raise a child, well let’s start at the beginning when a baby is conceived it usually takes nine months of pregnancy and then the delivery date finally arrives.  If all of the dates add up from when you first conceive to birth it is usually nine months should have elapsed.

        Delivery date is finally here as you have planned, but having a baby on its due date is sometimes a stab in the dark because your baby has others plans or you may have miss calculated a day or two or maybe your doctor may have miss calculated the due date as well. These little issues are precursors to how to raise your child things do not go as planned.

Delivering a baby on time is what every parent wants to achieve because you have great anticipation and anxiety as to if your baby will be born healthy that is your greatest worries, having a healthy child.

Sometimes babies have other ideas regarding the delivery date that you have planned.  While you were in labor and you kept waiting and waiting it seemed like the child just didn’t want to be born.  As you can see from having a baby, things sometimes are out of your control and times and dates changes as well.  

Now that your baby is finally delivered, it is time to learn how to raise a child.  If this is your first child I hope reading this article will provide you with some information to help you along the way raising your child.  Even if you have more than one child some people still have no clue how to raise a child.   

As you can see from this experience of conceiving to pregnancy and finally delivering a child, this is a precursor, as to how things do not go as plan when you are raising your own child.

  What you will find out when you are raising a child is that children will always try and do what they want to do.  Some children do not want to follow instructions because they believe that their choices are better choices than the one you have chosen for them.  You as a parent have to be in tune with this rebellious attitude.

You are going to be instructing your child all of their life. From an infant to becoming an adult, what you teach your child early in life, hopefully, those instructions or lessons remains with them into adulthood.

Where do you start teaching, how to raise a child? You start teaching your child at birth.  That’s right I said at birth you teach your child about things you will and will not accept as their parent.  Don’t mince your words be very clear in your meaning when explaining whatever issue you want your child to learn.   

When a baby starts crying this is the child’s way of getting your attention.  This is their way of wanting to tell you that something is wrong or about something that they need.  As a parent, you will have to decipher which is it, a want or a need.  

Your child is also deciphering, that if I cry or make certain noises someone comes to my aid.  Children are smart; they are putting two and two together and they are learning your patterns as to how to get your attention.   

Children at an early age are watching and adapting to your every move or reaction to gauge what makes you come running to their aid and you satisfying that need or want. 

Now if a child cries, because the child is sick, or hungry, or maybe has a soiled or dirty diaper, that's one thing as a parent you will find out very quickly, when you check on your child's welfare.

 If after coming to their aid and checking to determine if the child’s hungry, soiled diaper and any other reason you may or may not find, does not exist your child may have figured out what makes you come to their need when they cry. 

Do not let your child's whining; be confused with that of an actual cry.  If the child's whining has you running to their aid, it is a want and not a need.  You are the parent, you have to determine, between wants and needs.

       Every time the child needs attention, or if they are not getting their way, they will cry, because they know you will come to their aid and give them what they want, whether they needed it or not.  This is when the child is training you, and controlling your behavior towards the child's wants, not the child's needs.  

You as a parent have to let your child know that crying out loud or yelling out, for no reason is not acceptable behavior that you will not tolerate from them. 

       You need to explain to your child this is not acceptable behavior, and if they continue to exhibit this behavior, they will be punished.  If a child is not sick (physically, mentally), is not hungry, has a clean diaper, then there is no need for your child to be crying.  If the child is crying for no reason, it is because they have a want, that they want you to fulfill for them.  

Loving and providing everything you can for your child is one thing, but do not spoil your child. Spoiled kids are notorious for having bad behavior, towards others and or other siblings.  

Spoiled kids believe that they should get everything that they want when they want it. If you have two or more kids, treat each one the same, do not show partiality towards one over the other(s), this will definitely create animosity and infighting amongst the siblings.

If you cannot do the same for everyone, then no one gets wherever the prize or food or clothing.  Treat everyone equally. Kids will definitely remember any favoritism, you showed in raising siblings.

      As a child grows, from 2 to 18 years old, children watch what you do as a parent. A child will mime your behavior whether it's good or bad. If you are using curse words in your vocabulary or exhibiting bad behavior, your child will exhibit the same behaviors with their friends when you are not present. Sometimes they may demonstrate that same behavior while you are present, and embarrass you in front of family and friends.  Watch your behavior, give advice and teach your child, what good and acceptable behavior is daily. 

SET SCHEDULES:

Have set schedules for your child, such as wake up time, lunch time, nap time, studying and or reading time, television time, sleep time put your child on a set schedule.  Provide structure as to how you want their day to proceed. Do not accept any excuses as to why your child cannot maintain these schedules. Kids are very trusting, do not break a promise, if you made a commitment, by all means, and try your best to honor it. 

PROVIDE STRUCTURE:

Everyone wants to be free to do as they please.  Asked the majority of people in American, asked them if they would like to be free to do their own thing, whenever they like to do it, and I guarantee the majority will say yes, they would like to do their own thing.

But in reality, people will also admit that they would like structure in their life. Looking back at one's life, in hindsight, people who are older, probably more than sixty percent would wish that their parents had given them more structure, while they were growing up.  

Just as adults wished they were given more structure in their lives. A child definitely needs structure in the life, because a child does not have a clue, as to what they are going to do right now today, let alone what they will do in the future.  

Setting  a plan for your child, provides him or her with the structure that they need, that will go with them, long after they have moved out from under your tutelage.  Kids need to know that life, should not be lived in a haphazard way and that the majority of things happen in a timely structure fashion. 

GET INVOLVE:

Get involved in your child's activities, do not sit on the sideline, and know what your child is doing at home with friends and at school. While your child is involved in the activities, this gives you as a parent an opportunity to meet and greet your child's friends in their elements.  This way you can get an understanding of the relationship that your child has with their friends as well.  

     Your child's friends now have an opportunity to know, what type of parent your child has. If you can participate in your child's extracurricular activities, this is a great way to spend quality time with your child and keep him or her out of trouble.

Also being involved with your child, you can help them with some of the decision-making processes that your child goes through. This way you can have a better understanding as to how they process information.  

Later on, you can provide your child with help, in their decision-making process if needed.  Kids are pressured every day, amongst their peer group.  

RELATIONSHIP:

It is very important to have a relationship with your child, but the relationship should be parent and child. Your child should know that you as a parent, and your main concern is their welfare and what is best for them.

 You should love your child unconditionally, without any reservations.  Let your child know that you are the parent and that you are not their friend, as a friend in friendship.  

What I mean here is that a parent and child should always maintain that respectability that a parent is on a different level than your child's friends, who are on the same level.  There's a line between parent and child that should never be crossed, regarding their relationship and respectability. 

Parent’s want to be friends with their children, which is not a problem, as long as that respectability is maintained. Kids have a hard time maintaining and separating the two, parent's friendship and a friend's friendship, believing that the two are one in the same, which they are not. 

Best friends are someone who you trust and value above any and all other friends. When your child believes or thinks that you are their best friend or friend, then they will treat you like they would treat a friend on equal terms.  

Do not lower your parent-child relationship, to that of a child and their friend's relationship, if you do, you are setting yourself up for many many problems in your relationship with your child.  Don't do it, always maintain that parent and child respectability.   

P.S. - Do not let the village raise your child because some members of the village have major issues themselves. So be involved in your child's life every day of the week, month and 365 days a year. 

Be Involved. 

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