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A baby is conceived and after waiting nine months the delivery date is finally here, you cannot wait to delivery this baby on its due date.
Sometimes things like having a baby on time or let's just say what the doctor told you was the due date, was not as accurate as planned.
The baby does not want to be delivered on that due date, because the baby has its own ideas as to what the due date should and will be.
After going into labor and waiting another 24 hours, the baby finally is delivered.
As you can see for this experience of conceiving, to pregnancy and finally delivering a child, this is a precursor, as to how to raise a child, things do not go as planned. A child tries to do what they want to do, not what they are instructed or told to do, because a child or a kid they have other plans, that are different from yours.
How to raise a may be like the delivery process, instruct your child to do one thing and they do another, totally different from what you instructed them to do. Nine months, a few hours of pregnancy, to eighteen plus years of learning how to raise a child. Where do you start learning how to raise a child.
For one you start, at birth teaching your child, things you will and things you will not accept. Such as when your child, starts to cry, crying is a child's way of getting your attention that something is wrong or something that they need. As a parent you will have to decipher which is it, a want or a need. Your child is also deciphering, that if I cry the parent comes running, oh this is what I need to do, to get attention from someone.
Children at an early age are watching and adapting your every move or reaction to gauge what makes you come running and them getting what they want from you. If a child cries, because the child is sick, or hungry, or has a soiled or dirty diaper, that's one thing as a parent you will find out, when you check on the child's welfare. If after checking for any of the following conditions, and none exist, the child has figure out, what makes you come to their need when they cry.
Do not let your child's whine, be confused with that of an actual cry. If the child's whining have you come running, the child is winning, because this is a want, and not a need. You are the parent, you have to determine, between wants and needs.
Every time the child needs attention, or if they are not getting their way, they will cry, because they know you will come to their aid and give them what they wanted, whether they needed it or not. This is when the child is training you, and controlling your behavior towards the child's wants, not the child's needs. You as a parent have to let your child know that crying out loud or yelling out, for no reason is not acceptable behavior, that you will not tolerate from them.
You need to explain to your child this is not acceptable behavior, and if they continue to exhibit this behavior, they will be punished. If a child's is not sick (physically, mentally), is not hungry, has a clean diaper, then there is no need for your child to be crying. If the child is crying for no reason, it is because they have a want, that they want you to fulfill for them.
Loving and providing everything you can for your child is one thing, but do not spoil your child. Spoiled kids are notorious for having bad behavior, towards others and or other siblings. Spoiled kids believe that they should get everything that they want when they want it. If you have two or more kids, treat each one the same, do not show partiality towards one over the other(s), this will definitely create animosity and infighting amongst the siblings. If you cannot do the same for everyone, then no one gets wherever the prize or food or clothing. Treat everyone equally. Kids will definitely remember any favoritism, you shown in raising siblings.
As a child grows, from 2 to 18 years old, children watch what you do as a parent. A child will mime your behavior whether it's good or bad. If you are using curse words in your vocabulary, or exhibiting bad behavior, your child will exhibit the same behaviors with their friends when you are not present. Sometimes they may demonstrate that same behavior while you are present, and embarrass you in front of family and friends. Watch your behavior, advise and teach your child, what is good and acceptable behavior daily.
Have set schedules for your child, such as wake up time, lunch time, nap time, studying and or reading time, television time, sleep time, put your child on a set schedule. Provide structure as to how you want their day to proceed. Do not except any excuses as to why, your child cannot maintain these schedules. Kids are very trusting, do not break a promise, if you made a commitment, by all means try your best to honor it.
Everyone wants to be free to do as they please. Asked the majority of people in American, asked them if they would like to be free to do their own thing, whenever they like to do it, and I guarantee the majority will say yes, they would like to do their own thing. But in reality people, will also admit that they would like structure in their life. Looking back at one's life, in hind sight, people who are older, probably more than sixty percent would wished, that their parents had given them more structure, while they were growing up.
Just as adults wished they were given more structure in their lives. A child definitely needs structure in the life, because a child does not have a clue, as to what they are going to do right now today, let alone what they will do in the future. Setting a plan for your child, provides him or her with structure that they need, that will go with them, long after they have moved out from under your tutelage. Kids need to know that life, should not be lived in a hap hazard way, and that the majority of things happen in a timely structure fashion.
Get involved in your child's activities, do not sit on the sideline, know what your child is doing at home with friends and at school. While your child is iInvolved in the activities, this gives you as an parent an opportunity to meet and greet your child's friends in their elements. This way you can get an understanding of the relationship that your child has with their friends as well.
Your child's friends now have an opportunity to know, what type of parent your child has. If you can participate in your child's extracurricular activities, this is a great way to spend quality time with your child and keep him or her out of trouble. Also being involved with your child, you can so some of the decision making processes that your child goes through. This way you can have a better understanding as to how they process information. Later on you can provide your child with help, in their decision making process if needed. Kids are pressured every day, amongst their peer group.
It is very important to have an relationship with your child, but the relationship should be parent and child. Your child should know that you as a parent, your main concern is their welfare and what is best for them. You should love your child unconditionally, without any reservations. Let your child know that you are the parent and that you are not their friend, as a friend in friendship. What I mean here is that, a parent and child should always maintain that respectability that a parent is on a different level, than your child's friends, who are on the same level. There's a line between parent and child that should never be crossed, regarding their relationship and respectability.
Parent's want to be friends of their children, which is not a problem, as long as that respectability is maintained. Kids have a hard time maintaining and separating the two, parent's friendship and a friend's friendship, believing that the two are one in the same, which they are not.
Best friends are someone who you trust and value above any and all other friends. When your child believes or thinks that you are their best friend or friend, then they will treat you like they would treat a friend on equal terms. Do not lower your parent child relationship, to that of a child and their friend's relationship, if you do, you are setting yourself up for many many problems in your relationship with your child. Don't do it, always maintain that parent and child respectability.
P.S. - Do not let the village raise your child, because some members of the village have major issues themselves. So be involved in your child's life everyday of the week, month and 365 days a year.